At the heart of self-discovery is a deep longing to connect with the divine that ultimately is found within my own consciousness. Labels only serve to hold me and my perception of Self in a limited frame. I find a sense of true Self when I release labels and dive deeply within the hidden realms of my inner world.
The journey transforms my perception of reality as I begin to uncover my own infinite creative nature. Freedom is found in the caverns I am willing to explore in order to find new knowledge, and at once release me from pre-conceived notions of who and what I am intrinsically.
The stronger my desire to know my authentic Self, the more intently motivated am I to allow myself to open up to cosmic consciousness and re-member the truth of my unlimited creative and co-creative beingness.
Ha! A year ago today I started this Blog. Has it really been that long?! This year has been such a year of transformation, and it just keeps extending in that way for me.
I haven’t posted anything for quite sometime, which is incredible considering my overactive mind and imagination. Alas, I have been scattered in many directions, precisely as we all are, and I am just on this journey we call ‘life’.
The last year has deepened my love of Art, and the connection somehow brings me closer to my Higher Spiritual Self in so many ways it would be impossible to express in such a short post as this. (and I promise it is short) In any case, my deep desire for a closer experience with the Powerful Universal Presence, that some call God, has brought me to some life-changing decisions which I know will bring me great joy and of which I have already found.
Paradoxically, life is the same. I eat, drink, work, dress, play–whatever, and so do all those around me. Caught in an endless circle of rituals and repetitions. Sometimes whirled out of balance by a shocking experience that breaks that routine.
I’m not much for routine, which I find boring…however, I do embrace some form of lose structure that allows me some flexibility and direction at the same time. I have to say perhaps I’m somewhat better at it now at this stage of my Crone life. I have to smile at that expression of myself, but here I am. There. Here. So I smile at myself and realize that in the last year I’m just learning more about how to simply ‘be’, and the rest is unknown…
I see the Light in you my friend, and I thank you for sharing this journey with me.
Sometimes something stirs within my mind and sets words in there that I don’t even know myself until they find their place on the page. They seem foreign to me, yet whisper of a past, a truth, a knowing that comes from somewhere else. Somewhere that is not the me I look at in the mirror every day. Not the artist, (no) not the wife, caretaker, or friend. Somewhere in another time– another mind. Whispers into my ear these words, like warm cookies that melt in my mouth and leave a taste both sweet and bitter. My hands deftly hit the keys or stroke the paper with pen to lay down verse, or words, or strings of words that fall on the page like raindrops from my eyelashes. Strange and wonderful. Sometimes mixing with the tears I taste their saltiness. The words beg me to write them. They call me with urgency to lay them down. How can I deny it? When would I say– no? Then, when I push it aside and silence the calling and plunder about my day, the words become lost and lonely again—falling in to the back drop of my memory. Slowly losing and fading quietly from their once reverberating demands. Now they have retreated. With me. They go behind, and (may) wait till they have yet another chance to hope to be written. I then think and ponder–(later…) What was that I just heard?